I got the rare opportunity to interview the crazy mastermind that is
Dr. Phineas Waldolf Steel. He is a multi-talented evil genius with a love for art, music,
toys, and world domination. I guarantee you will never meet another individual as
complex and fascinating. We discussed his plans to become world emperor, music,
existentialism, quantum physics, puppets, girls, and the joys of insanity. So please read
on and take pleasure in the mind that is Doctor Steel…….

BELL : Firstly I want to say a huge thank you Dr. for taking the time out to do this interview and share
your magnificence and intellect with our little niche of the internet.

DR. STEEL: My pleasure. I appreciate you helping to spread the propaganda.

BELL: Let me start off with our readers: your goal of becoming World Emperor. Would you mind sharing
a bit about your platform and yourself?

DR. STEEL: Why certainly. My ideology is simple. I aim to make fun the top priority. We spend our lives
in office buildings, behind cash registers, stuck in traffic jams, all the while wishing we were somewhere
else. Doing something else. Namely; having fun. The world is a place full of despair. A place where
the 'powers that be' control us through fear. I aim to unify the world through entertainment and rebuild
the world into a Utopian Playland where the only obligation of the people is to have a good time. For
there really is no other purpose in life.

BELL: About how many soldiers have you acquired thus far in your army, and what sort of training do
they go through?

DR. STEEL: I currently have several thousand spread all over the world. These are supportive, enthusiastic individuals who have discovered my website and have opted to enlist in my Army of Toy Soldiers. Upon
enlisting, they receive an orientation package with free adhesive propaganda (stickers) to place in public
view. It's this kind of guerilla style awareness that has built upon itself and is continuing to grown on a daily
basis.

BELLE: If you do not mind revealing such information; once you have recruited a good portion of the world's populace, what will be your next step towards world domination?

DR. STEEL: The army will grow to such a size until it cannot be ignored. Because of the way my plans
for world domination are structured, there is quite a bit of money to be made by the entertainment industry
from what I am doing. They will be tempted to capitalize on the growing movement and at that stage I will
be in the position to move into phase two of my take over. Once I have the ability to manufacture and
produce the various forms of entertainment that I have developed, the release of such products will
systematically generate more awareness and create an even larger army.

Such a large influence over the world's populace will place me in the position to further influence the minds
of the masses and change the way the world works as a whole.

BELL: I must ask who does all of the spiffy promotional material for your campaign? You have a lovely
web design and beautiful illustrations that I'm sure would ensnare even the biggest skeptic. How does your
art and music come together in your mind?

DR. STEEL: Ah, thank you my dear. I am responsible for everything you see and hear. It all functions as
a whole in my mind and I find it extremely creatively satisfying to be able to use my various interests and
creative outlets towards one singular focus. Where I have been pigeon holed as one type of artist or
another by my previous employers, I have since made the decision to no longer work for such people and
instead put all of my energy into my own agenda. My own goals. So, it is on this road that I am able to do
all that I feel I must do, be it writing, performing, drawing, painting, writing music, and designing everything
from all angles.

BELL: Wow such a vast amount of talent bundled in on person!! And your music has such a unique eclectic
sound to it…Who do you feel are the most influential artist and musicians in your life? It has got to be quite a diverse mix.

DR.STEEL: Thank you. Yes indeed I do draw from quite the eclectic collection of influences. As a child,
I listened to quite a bit of orchestral music. Igor Stravinsky, the film scores by John Williams, Danny Elfman.
As I grew older I discovered other forms of music and listened to everything from Queen to Nine Inch Nails.
Pink Floyd to Pantera. Mr. Bungle to Tom Waits. All of these artists and unique sounds have influenced me
and I continue to pull from various sources for inspiration.

BELL: How did you come about to learning play the accordion?? It's such a wonderful underrated instrument.

DR.STEEL: Ah, indeed it is. Though I am far from an accordion virtuoso. Truth be told, I'm far from amazing
on any one instrument. I can get by on pretty much anything. Enough to convey my ideas via my recordings, building the songs you hear. I suppose that's the price I pay for having my fingers in all of the pies at once.
I will never be amazing at any one musical instrument, but for me it's more about conveying a concept
rather than having the ability to perform an amazing guitar solo...or an accordion solo as the case may be.

BELL: Does it look as if there might be a tour in the works soon? And if so will u please come to Michigan!!

DR.STEEL: Perhaps. Perhaps. I certainly do aim to spread across the globe, though this is more than just
a band. There is the big picture to be concerned with, and as I am doing all of this myself I must plan
each phase very carefully less I make rash decisions and find myself without a paddle. Touring would be
smashing, but it must be handled correctly to achieve the best outcome from the experience.

BELL: I'm sure fans and soldiers are dying to know. How far off before your toys come into production,?
I really want the Toyland action play set myself…. When did you know you wanted to be a toy maker?

DR.STEEL: Once the sound of marching cannot be ignored! It is getting louder every day, but the fact of
the matter is that unless I am in the position to manufacture them myself, which I am not at this time, it
will be up to my loyal soldiers to continually spread the word. Harass toy companies. Toy stores. Your
grandmother. Beg them to produce my creations. It is about creating a consciousness, an awareness and proclaiming the mass desire for these things that will bring them into fruition. I have all the faith in the world
that it will happen. 'Tis only a matter of time, but my soldiers truly hold the power to make it happen.

In terms of 'when I wanted to be a toy maker', that didn't really come into focus until later in my life. Mainly because I hadn't really put into words what a "toy maker" really was. Sure, when you imagine a toy you
think of a robot that turns into a car, or a Strawberry Shortcake doll or perhaps peculiar devices in the
bedroom. But really, when you get down to it, a toy is simply something that makes you happy. Be it a
brand new car, a vacation or a pair of new shoes. Once I realized that toys really represented all that
we desire, meaning that they represent the desire for fun, I adopted the title of toy maker because of all
that it encompasses.

BELL: I'm sure you were quite an interesting child. What was your all time favorite toy growing up? What about now?

DR.STEEL: As a child I spent quite a bit of time alone. Sure, I had toys like the other children had toys.
I rather enjoyed my Star Wars action figures. I had a small, electric organ that I enjoyed writing music on,
but I would have to say the best thing that I had at my disposal was my imagination. That is where I spent
the majority of my time then as well as now, and it has saved me time and time again from the ugliness of this world. Imagination is something that we are not trained to use and aside from using it when you are a child,
it is considered a waste of time once you reach adulthood. Yet there is something powerful about your
imagination. About visualization. Because it is through our own abilities to visualize and change the
perspectives of your observation that one can in fact alter reality.

BELL: In your Utopian Playland manifesto (which I strongly suggest any good soldier should read) you go
into your theories on the collective consciousness and the boundaries we have set upon ourselves. You
have already explained a bit so far but would u mind expounding a bit, and briefly explaining it to our
readers… and how they can work to remove their "dimensional blinders"?

DR.STEEL: Well, the scientific basis of this business is rooted in Quantum Physics. The super, duper,
simplified version of this stuff is that the actual matter that makes up the universe seems only to exist
because it is being observed. When researchers start looking at the tiniest bits of matter, past atoms and
into the nitty gritty of what everything consists of, they tend to keep getting different results. Results that
seem to be dependant on how or who is looking at it and even what they're looking for. I could go on for
pages and pages about the shocking detail of such experiments, but I don't think this is the time or place
for that.

Bottom line is that it seems as though our very perception of reality is what generates our reality. Depending
on what we're expecting, or rather, what we are convinced is real, will in fact manifest. That combined
with the fact that our human brains must justify absolutely everything. We MUST have answers that make
sense to us otherwise we are unable to function. Likewise, when our brains experience something that it
simply cannot process, we often don't even consciously experience it. Which leads to the question of,
what kind of crazy stuff that we don't understand is happening all around us and we don't even recognize?

With such an outlook on reality, one can use such information to stretch his or her perception and literally
custom program reality. This is where collective consciousness comes in. We're not tiny separate entities
on this planet. We're all tied in together because we're all tied into the planet and all tied into the universe.
We're all ones and zeroes, really. In any case, we're interconnected and with that connection we have the
ability to work together. We do this by default anyway, and the powers that be certainly use this knowledge
to manipulate perceptions of reality by engineering events and broadcasting what's called "news" to the
world. It's all just a way to get us to believe in a certain something for a manufactured cause, and when
we do, we actually begin to program reality and make that idea a physical thing. The goal is generally to
generate fear, as fear is the easiest way to keep a people controlled. For when we are afraid, we fail to
function correctly and are very easily led.

BELL: Unfortunately, there is a portion of the population that seems to have their current blinders on
rather tight. Have you thought of possibly infiltrating the collective "un" conscious?

DR.STEEL: Ah, yes. Brainwashing rays would be smashing. However, there is something else called The
Hundredth Monkey Theory that hints at the idea that because there is a collective consciousness, something happens to our consciousness as a whole once a large amount of individuals have accepted and believe a
certain piece of information. This gives me hope because once there is a large amount of people practicing
this ability, programming reality and working towards making this world a better place (and appointing
me World Emperor) then such a mind-set seeps by osmosis into the minds of those who are wearing the
blinders. Not to mention the fact that those who wear the blinders are generally very hungry to be led.
They don't want to think for themselves and I can certainly provide them with simple tasks to keep them
happy with all their questions answered.

BELL: Imagination truly is a wonderful thing....it too has saved my mental butt on several occasions. It
seems as though yours has gotten you into a bit of trouble over the years though. You were institutionalized
for awhile. How was that for you? So many people are drugged for their vast imaginations and told to
suppress them in those places. How did you make it out ok?

DR.STEEL: Things happen for a reason and sometimes one must reach the bottom in order to begin again.
I certainly do believe that imagination is something that is intentionally stifled by the powers that be. For
the very reasons that I described above. We hold so much more power than we are told, but if we do
not exercise it we remain inexperienced and stuck in the reality that we're handed. Imagination is
visualization and without it, we are blind.

BELL: Any theories on how you became crazy?? Was there any event in particular you hold as the main
reason for your being blessed with insanity?

DR.STEEL: Ah yes. I remember the moment quite clearly. Oddly enough it was far after I had been
deemed insane, yet another example of how one's perception can manifest reality. The events that led to
my incarceration were political and had nothing to do with my state of mind at all. But that's a story for
another time. The point being that once I had an opportunity to let everything in my life slip away and
truly, truly give up absolutely everything, that was where I began to realize that the only thing that I
had was the matter inside my head. I had somewhat of a psychological and spiritual awakening at that
point...a mystic experience...a vision that changed my perception forever. Once something like that
happens to you, you are never the same person again. Your reality has been 'reset'.

BELL: Insanity seems to work also to people's advantage. Another Emperor comes to mind Joshua Norton
of San Francisco Who declared himself Emperor of the United States back in the late 1800's. Have you
thought of making a similar decree and becoming his successor?

DR.STEEL: You are familiar with Mr. Norton, eh? Smashing. I must admit he is somewhat of a hero of mine.
It's good to hear that you know of him. I have a photograph of him on my lab wall. He gives me hope
and by all means I certainly do plan to follow in his footsteps, though I plan to take it up several notches.

BELL: We have already touched on music, art, and the influences it has had on your own art and music.
How about sex and sexuality? Also of particular interest would be your nursing *staff*. Did you have
some extra TLC while during your mental vacation?

DR.STEEL: Sex. Sex and sexuality. Well, that certainly is the one thing on everyone's minds isn't it? Not
because we're perverted freaks but because that is simply how we're programmed. I mean, when we start
talking about the meaning of life and what it's all about, Alphie...it's all about reproduction and the incredible
urge to reproduce. Experiments done in the 1940's have proven that if given a starving man the choice
between food and sex, he would choose sex. Is it because he's a horny bastard? No. It's because life
is a bunch of protoplasm with the urge to reproduce. End of story. Over-riding one's self preservation is
the priority to reproduce because that's the most efficient way to keep the viral species moving along. That's
what we're designed to do. Make more and more humans, even though that's the last thing this planet needs.

Sure, we clever humans find ways of acting out the reproduction ritual without actually causing conception because the interface tells us that sex feels really, really good and that it's really, really fun. It works to an
almost flawless degree. Yet it's still just a trick to get us to make more humans. So, when you ask me what
I think about sex and sexuality I tell you that all I can see is the little pre-programmed trick in my brain. The manipulation. Yet one more thing in this world that's trying to trick and control me. It works very, very well
and often rivals one's rationale, therefore it is a variable that I personally cannot afford when working
towards a goal such as mine.For everyone else, it's just fine. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die.
Knowing how the human mind works, I find it to be a smashing advertising tool...it gets 'em every time.

BELL: So does that mean there won't be Mrs. Emperor of the world? So many nurses and soldiers will be
crushed. Sex aside companionship can be a wonderful experience, and 2 heads are in some instances
better then one? Just think of the female populace she could reach out to. What would your ideal companion
be like??

DR.STEEL: Indeed companionship can be a positive thing, though I have no plans for a Mrs. World Emperor
any time in the near future. I find that ruling out such a specific relationship allows for many more
avenues and far more ways to join forces with a variety of brilliant women. In terms of who my ideal
companion might be, someone who is supportive, organized, responsible, driven, talented, hilarious,
interested in unraveling the secrets of the universe, beautiful and has the ability to shoot lasers out of
her eyes. So, I have rather small hopes that such requirements might be met.

BELL: A large part of your platform is Fun, and who doesn't love fun. What do you like to do for fun
in your spare time?

DR.STEEL: I'm not quite sure...I never have any spare time. In all honesty, creating is what it's all
about for me. I strive to create each and every day, though there is systematically more and more
organization to be done. If I did have free time I would find myself working on something anyway. Drawing, recording music, doing research. It's all I do and it's something that I must do less I become a
very unhappy man.

BELL: And I have to ask. I love your clothing and general sense of style. What inspires your look?
Who is your tailor they do magnificent work? And how can I get myself lovely threads like that?

DR.STEEL: Ah, thank you. In terms of inspiration, I am very interested in the style of the 1800's. I am also attracted to fetish wear involving plastic and rubber and I often fuse the two together. I have an
absolutely brilliant fabricator and designer with whom I work. Her name is Paloma Candelaria and you
can see more of her work at www.palomadavid.com.

BELL: Now I don't want to start a rivalry among your puppets…. But who do you feel is your favorite?
How did they all come to be?

DR.STEEL: Such a difficult question! I would have to say that currently, my newest favorite are
two little puppets by the names of Rock and Roll. They accompany me during the live performance
of Childhood (don't) A Go-Go. They're both appropriately creepy and darling all at the same time.

The puppets are built and controlled by puppeteer Professor McPoop, who just so happens to be
married to my brilliant costume designer. He has done a fantastic job of capturing the feeling of the
puppets I aim to create. I supply him with drawings and designs and he consistently is able to bring
them to life. Smashing work all around!

BELL: Well I could go on for pages and pages Dear Dr. But unfortunately all good things must come to
an end. I don't know about our readers but you have defiantly gotten the rusty gears in my mind churning
and you have my undying support. It has defiantly been a great great pleasure and I hope you come
by our little site again. Do you have any last words for our readers out there in the interweb?

DR. STEEL: Thank you my dear. It's been a blast. I appreciate the open ear to a raving madman. In
closing I would simply ask each reader take a moment out of their busy day, take a deep breath and
imagine a dancing penguin appearing in the passenger seat of their car. Yes. Yes, that's the thought
I would like to leave you all with.

If you would like more information on how you can help Dr.Steel in his quest for world
emperor Go to his website www.doctorsteel.com and while you are there sign up to become
a soldier in his toy army….You can get free stickers and who doesn't love free stuff??
Especially stickers….huh who?? Or his myspace page Doctor Steel. Also feel free to do some
research of your own into reality, quantum physics, and the human
mind and body. You will never be the same again……I promise.